Saturday, February 7, 2009


I've come to this site many times in the last month wishing I had an update - wanting nothing more than to share another triumph or heart ache in my father's battle with cancer. Often wondering to myself, as I go about the day, is it possible he really is gone and when will he be back?

I've spoken very little about his death in the last month. I think mostly because I couldn't believe it was real myself and when I had those moments of reality, I could hardly speak, let alone share anything that would mask the pain and sorrow I felt.

Initially, the days were busy and the nights exhausting but as things began to calm down and those days have become weeks, I've started to adjust to the new normal. The tears, still wetting my pillow at night, have reminded me of my silent longings for his return.

I've been so fortunate to read so many stories about my dad's life. From the out right hilarious to the inspiring, they have made the road I am traveling easier to move along. I cherish each and every one because they are his story. The story of the greatest man I've ever known. And while this chapter has ended, parts of him live on with each and every one of us who have been privileged to know him.

As we closed a chapter in his story today, I thought it would be fitting to write an epilogue of this journey.


I took a drive into town this morning before the service to check on the various places we were going to spread your ashes. It was a beautiful morning! When I pulled into Morrison Park, I could see you edging the grass and working on the playground equipment. No one was around so I sat there for a few minutes and just watched the river quickly move by. I started thinking about all the times we had at the park from Splash festivals to my 16th birthday party at the Log Cabin. From there, I drove up to the high school oak tree and of course, there it was. It was still pretty foggy so you couldn't see much higher than the tree but it looked very stately today. Almost like it stood a little taller, a little more proud. I think the tree knew that soon, you'd become a part of it's foundation. Then I drove over to Pioneer Park and my mind was flooded with so many baseball memories! AHS, The Clubbers, Indian Tournaments, Parks & Rec events... Again, I could see you there mowing, coaching, playing, umping and always smiling.

I think you're going to like being in so many places at once! As we spread your ashes today, I couldn't help but think about the influence you've had on so many people and just how far reaching that has been. Seeing you become a permanent part of much that you've been passionate about your whole life has been a gift for all of us today.

Reality came to a head though when we got to the cemetery for your burial service. I realized that I'm not ready to have you gone from my life. I struggled through most of the ceremony with feelings of sadness, anger and disbelief and then I think Grandma came to my rescue. She helped me feel a sense of comfort and restored a bit of my hope.

After the service, I stood at the top of the hill where your ashes were laid to rest and looked out on a bright, sunny day. I am glad I shared today with you, thanks for sending the sunshine. I wish someone would ask me what I want to be when I grow up because I finally have the answer: I want to be like Ken Waite.

Thanks for choosing me. I love you...



Anonymous said...

Almost everyday as I work here at the Fire Station in Centralia, I come across my bookmark for Humbabe Revolution. I click on it to see my friend Kenny and in hopes that you have written a little something just to let us know how you and your family are doing. Today I read your Epilogue again, and again I cried. More happy tears than before as I too remember stories of Kenny. Thank you for sharing your photos of where Kenny is at rest. Your family chose the most appropriate locations for him. As basketball season winds down, I still expect to hear a knock at our back door and having your dad rush in to use the bathroom before he headed over to Centralia College (we live on the backside of the college). He always parked at our house and then came to visit after the game. It didn't matter if Kevin (my husband who is also an official) was home or not as he always entertained me and my daughter Abby. On more than one occassion, he always seemed to show up just as we were having a meltdown trying to figure out Abby's math homework. Kenny to the rescue!!! Kenny was more than just a friend, he was part of our family too. He always had updates on you and your brother and was so VERRY PROUD of both of you. You have said that you were so lucky that they picked you...he always said he was the lucky one!!! Thank you again for sharing him. There are not enough "Kenny Waite" kind of people in the world. He is one of a kind. I don't know how long you will leave this website up, but just know that it is still visited, just to say hi to our friend.

Stephanie Slorey

Marina said...

I too have lost loved ones to cancer. 15 years ago it was my dad that left us, for a better place in heaven. I was only 8 and by now the wounds have healed and only a sad memory is left. But just 5 months ago I lost my grandma to cancer, she wasn't all that old to be dead already. For a long time after my grandma's death I was in plain disbelief and shock and couldn't come to terms with the realization of the fact that she's is gone.. That I can't call her anymore to ask her how she's doing, that she will never make cottage cheese or poppy seed buns for us, that I would never see her at her favorite pew in church and I will never be able to just give her a big hub and say "I love you"... She's gone, as well as millions of other people that lost the battle to cancer...So sad to not have them here with us sharing all the beautiful moments of our lives....
But let's hope that we will all meet one day in a better place, where there will be no more sorrow and no more death.

I think any dad would want to have a son that would have so much to say about him after he's gone.